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Professional SEO audit from a leading agency
Our certified experts check your site against 263 search ranking factors, compare it with your top 10 competitors and measure your visibility in ChatGPT, Gemini and Perplexity. The full report is ready in 10 seconds.
Auditing your site…
Recognise this report? Relax — it isn’t a real audit
It’s a parody of the reports that managers of dishonest SEO agencies send out. Their goal is to scare business owners into believing that their current SEO contractor is doing a poor job or not doing enough.
Owners often forward these “audits” to their SEO specialist and ask them to sort it out, and the team then spends days on issues that don’t matter.
There is no universal audit. A young site needs one thing, B2B services another, a large e-commerce project a third. A report where everything is bad is as useless as one where everything is fine.
Most of it can be measured: traffic, rankings, leads, indexing, speed. Send me your site, and I’ll tell you what really matters for your business at this stage and what isn’t worth your money.
Why is everything red?
Because this “audit” never looks at your site. Every number is generated from the domain name, and the verdict is decided in advance: everything is bad, the title is both too short and too long, you are invisible to AI, and the fix is a 12-month contract. Try google.com — it gets 1–10 out of 100 too. This is a parody of the reports many agencies send to scare clients into signing.
How to spot a fake SEO audit
The metrics contradict each other
The title is “too short” in one report and “too long” in the next. Any value is wrong, because the goal is to find a problem, not to measure.
Huge numbers with no page list
8,961 images without alt on a 40-page site. A real audit shows URLs and screenshots you can check yourself.
Everything is critical
No priorities: 50 “critical” issues at once. A real audit names the 3–5 things that actually cost you traffic and money.
“Invisible to AI” without proof
Ask which prompts they ran in ChatGPT and what the answers were. Usually there is nothing to show.
The cure is always the biggest package
The conclusion leads to a monthly retainer with a 12-month minimum and “no guarantees because algorithms change”.
What a real audit looks like
It says what is already fine, explains how each problem was found, prioritises fixes by impact and lets you check every claim without paying first.
Questions
Want an audit that actually looks at your site?
I’ll record a 10-minute video with the two or three things that really cost you traffic — and tell you what is already fine.